Laugh and the world laughs with you.

I went to my second dance class tonight. It was a lesson in humiliation.

The teacher was really late because she forgot what time it started. So the dance studio owner suggested we should warm up with the girls who had their jazz class starting. On the surface, that sounded like a good idea. I like stretching and warming up with my teacher. We roll our necks, stretch our muscles, and gently try to fold ourselves in half. This was not my experience tonight.

First, you have to factor in the fact that I am a chubby mom in her 30's, and the girls in the class are teens and skinny. Worse, I know several of them. Sorry girls. Then you have to know how they warm up. They are contortionists. And they are cruel. First we did crunches. I can handle crunches,but after the first set they had us put our legs up in the air for the second set of crunches. Okay... I did it, but felt awkward. Then they told us to do airsplits while crunching. Their legs made nearly straight lines. Mine made a narrow "V". Be glad you didn't have to see it.

Next up were lunges. Okay... here we go. I bent one knee and stretched out over it with my other leg straight behind me. Survived that maneuver. Then they told us to stick our rears up in the air and bend over with legs straight in a scissor pose. Cruel, cruel, cruel girls. Try not to picture it; it wasn't pretty.

Then... oh my... then... well she told us to do the splits. I haven't done the splits in 30 years. She said if we can't do that, then just do a pseudo split. She didn't leave any other options for those who can't do pseudo splits. You can't even fake it in a situation like this. I just sat and did a lateral split.. you, know, where both legs are together in front of you.

Next everyone stood up, and needed to line up in rows, and make turns across the floor. At this point I bowed out. I had images of me getting dizzy and knocking some cruel innocent over, or whacking one of them with an arm when I tried to position them right. I am not sure whether bowing out was a better idea because I didn't want to hurt them or because I might have gotten a measure of satisfaction out of it after that cruel warm-up.

Either way... I still love the class. I still feel ridiculous in it, and I am sure I look completely comical, but I will keep going. I will hold my chin up and not let myself feel stupid there. I will forgive Johanna for abandoning me to the mercies of skinny teenagers when she was supposed to be in class this week too. And eventually it will pay off. Eating less, walking everyday, and going to dance class each week has to end up having some positive benefits, even if every muscle in my body is screaming and begging me not to do this to them anymore.

I just hope our teacher shows up on time next week.

Labor Day festivities

I wasn't feeling well Sunday, so Jack dropped Matt and Faith off at church and I pretended to sleep in. Someday my kids will learn that "sleeping in" means I shouldn't have to get up until 9 0r 10. 7:30 is not sleeping in. At least not in my nightowl world.

Tyler spent the weekend with us. We have taken to calling him our stepson since he is here about half the time. I really don't mind, and have even given him a list of chores he has to do when he is here. We loaded him and the kids up on Monday morning and took them all to the Labor Day parade.
The powers to be have decided it isn't a good idea for the paraders to throw candy at the kids. It has been deemed too dangerous. However, the kids were told they could walk out in the parade path and get candy from the people riding in the exhibits. That seems much safer, doncha think? So this parade didn't bring the candy windfall they were expecting, but Todd did get an apple.
To assuage my lingering guilt feelings, I let Matt drive down the dirtroad to the house. He is taking driving pretty seriously,thus the lollipop stick in his mouth. He should have his license pretty soon.

Tuesday was Beth's first day of preschool. She got her nametag, and headed off to play on the playground after giving us a quick hug and kiss goodbye. She loves her class and her teacher. I hate leaving her there. The school is great, but I miss spending all day with her. And nothing is going to change that feeling, no matter what justifications can be made about benefits of preschool.

Tuesday night was the family night at the county fair... aka FREE!!! Matt went to the girls' volleyball games again to show his support (flirt). I took the other kids and we spent the night playing games like Barnyard Football (throw a potato through a tire)

And Pass the Chicken. (an egg relay toss.)
Faith did well at the Pass the Chicken game until she tried to catch an egg with her foot. Ew.

There were lots of other games we played, as well as watching the turtle races, but nothing was taken as seriously as the cake walk. Beth tried so hard to win her own, but she got tired from hopping around those stones. Faith and Todd took over for her and won her a blue cupcake.

As they played each game they collected tickets, and then used them to buy prizes. Todd only wanted one prize; this goofy straw hat. It took twenty tickets so he had to go back and play a couple of games over again. He finally earned it, though, and was wearing it when he picked up a fuzzy chick.
Tonight I did something I didn't think I would ever get to do. I started attending a modern/contemporary dance class. Oh my goodness. I had fun. I loved the stretching, but 35 has never felt so old on me! There will be no pictures of me doing this until I have retrieved some of the grace I occasionally had in my younger days and I have lost the love handles that apparently have hidden muscles that are screaming at me now. I gained back half the weight I lost last winter, but nothing has motivated me to get it off faster than to see myself trying to stay balanced in that ridiculously large mirror. My friend Crystal watched the kids for me while I went (thank you!!!) and then she dyed my hair when I got back. I think having a headful of bright red hair will be appropriate when I enact my version of Lucille Ball in next week's dance class.